Digi Domi

Sharing my passion for technology and learning.

Impersonal

on March 1, 2013

I don’t want this blog to become a morbid space, and I realise that my last post was on death and social media. However I find myself asking the question, how come I am fine with posting non-sense on social media, such as ‘ow, my tooth hurts’ and other useless information that even my adoring husband would find uninteresting, without hesitation. Yet when it comes to actual emotions, be those of extreme joy or sadness I suddenly think it is inappropriate.

Upon reflection I think the issues I feel are different for joy and for sorrow. When it comes to joy I am hesitant about posting as I don’t want to come off as bragging. ‘Oh look how wonderful my life is’, even though any achievements would be out of hard work or are major life events. I’m not talking about non-sense joy like ‘look how cute my cat is’, I’m refer to serious life events such as ‘I just got married’ or ‘I’m working on an exciting project’. See even in this post I feel scared about stating what the ‘exciting project’ is. Partly due to a fear of jinxing it. I don’t even like telling people in person about successes, such as starting a new job until I’m holding the contract. Out of fear that if it all goes wrong I will look foolish.

In regards to sorrow I think it is more closely related to the fact I post nonsense on social media. It feels inappropriate to share, say sorrow of the death of a loved one or friend on the same platform I post pictures of dogs dressed like super heroes. Yet, like with genuine joy, my issues of expression also extend to real life. I’ll have no problem crying when watching a TV show but I feel embarrassed about crying about actual issues, and will generally only do it around those I trust. Recently even at a funeral I felt embarrassed to cry and so simply clammed up and went silent until I was in a private space.

So I guess what the process of reflecting and writing this blog post has shown me is that 1) social media is in fact (as already known) an extension of real life and not a separate entity 2) I have some deep seeded issues that are probably better explored on a sofa than a blog.

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